Creating a Safe Place for Friendship to Happen 1: Unconditional Acceptance

If friendship is going to be part of the ecology of the church, then we'd better learn how to create a safe environment where these friendships can flourish. This is going to be part 1 of a series of posts that reflect on what's needed for us to create an environment of friendship.

I think it all begins with unconditional acceptance. Jesus created a safe place around him because there was rarely a person he did not delight in and accept. The worst of the worst not only felt comfortable with him...but they actually sought him out! I think the only people he kept his distance from were the the people who kept projecting an image of righteousness; an aura that they had it all together. I believe that Jesus knew that a safe environment would not be possible if such people were part of the group.

In the same way, an ecology of friendship is built on an environment of unconditional acceptance. I hope our groups(s) will become places where the newest of people will feel that they are delighted in and accepted as they are. This will be the first step towards trusting each other as friends.

Perhaps, delight is the place to start in accepting one another? To take joy in one another is the essence of delight. Delight is not something you can conjure up or pretend to have. You can tell if someone genuinely delights in you. You can literally see it in their eyes.

And so, delight, then, begins in our own hearts. We need to be asking God to put a genuine love in our hearts for people. This is not an easy task. There are many people that I would like to say, "Grow up!" Or, "Hey, the universe doesn't revolve around you!" Or, "Please get the the corn cob out of your ass...ASAP!" I know. I know. Doesn't sound like I'm delighting in too many people right now. But hey, for the most part, I do keep those comments to myself. But that's the point of this paragraph. I need to ask God for a genuine love for people every @#$%! day!

Gosh, I hope that there's a group somewhere out there that will accept me the way I am right here...right now.

Creating a Safe Place for Friendship to Happen 2: Unwavering Commitment

If friendship is going to be part of the ecology of the church, then we'd better learn how to create a safe environment where these friendships can flourish. This is part 2 of a series of posts that reflect on what's needed for us to create an environment of friendship.

I think a safe environment begins with an unwavering commitment to remain friends no matter what. Leaving is not an option. Abandoning one another is not an option. Suddenly becoming "missing in action" is not an option. Switching groups is not an option...that would be as absurd as leaving your family to join someone else's family!

Acts 2:42 describes the early church as being devoted to several things, one of which is the fellowship. I do not believe that this necessarily refers to their commitment to a congregation. Rather, I believe this meant that the early church had an unwavering commitment to each other; to the group they were a part of which met in homes every day.

This is going to be a huge challenge here in Ottawa. Ottawans are used to transient relationships. With Armed Forces families moving every four years or so, the social climate in Ottawa has become cold and uncaring. People are courteous and polite towards one another but very superficial.

As church here in Ottawa, I think it would be awesome to model relationships that are unconditional and unwavering. It doesn't matter what kind of jerk someone else may have been during a gathering, we should show that we are still devoted to one another. As someone who has been that jerk before, I would appreciate not having to walk on eggshells when I'm in a group as a recovering jerk. :-)

Friendship as Core Value

Many of the core people in SOULNET are those who are relatively new to the Ottawa area. Lately, conversations have centered around a need for developing real friendships with people who can be trusted. Ottawa is a lonely place. It seems that most Ottawans are not really interested in getting to know other people. There is a coldness and superficiality among the people of Ottawa that makes those of us who are used to open friendships feel isolated and alone.

I wonder if this is a cultural issue that needs to be addressed by the gospel. Perhaps a contextualized gospel engages this coldness and superficilaity by creating an ecclesia that is rooted in friendship that is marked by authenticity and grace?

More Pics from the Philippines 2007